Grief piled on top of grief as I walked with the lines of time upon my face. Everyday living was too much for me, and I did not know how to make this understood:
When my head hung down, I was crying.
When my eyes looked away, I was breaking.
When my voice was silent, I was breathing ache.
This is what it’s like for me, to walk with Aspergers while walking in the world: grief is always on my heels. I lack a capacity for wrongs, for evils, for selfishness, for greed. I feel every weight of every decision – I see every injustice, I hear every lie, I carry every destruction – and they sit with me as pain. This is my burden; this is why I search for hope in every facet of every thing. This is why I cling to the good with unyielding tenacity. When I know what is right, I will not let go.
My grandest hope is that one day I will be able change the world with the light I seek. I am desperate for another way; a kinder way. I will sit with brokenness until I have found all the answers to our need. I will do it, because I must. This pain is not enough.
Today, this is a call to every desperate heart – the ones that find that living is just not enough. Wherever you are, raise your arms to the light and cry out for more. Your voice matters. I know. I can feel it. The goodness of desperation cannot go unanswered – it will find its mark.
Wishing for the world,