Hunger

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Dear Friends,

The clock struck an unmoving, dissonant chord; two am turned into three. I wanted to embrace it all – each ache of a remembrance. What could daylight give me that night had not already enveloped? I was complete.

I want to say that I grew up in a ‘can do’, ‘anything is possible’ kind of way, and I did, but life consistently throws you boulders of another kind – reminders that you don’t quite belong. It’s terrifying. It’s exhausting. It’s dehumanizing. The conveyor belt of humanity just keeps racing along, and I cannot keep up. While others check off life boxes, I’m grieving for the lack of them…and then dancing off into stratospheres that others would say do not exist. I live it. I breathe it. I can hardly come back down. You see, I’m not waiting for ordinary. I’m not walking with hunger to stay unfilled. I’m looking for an explosion of lightning on my soul where the pain and lack makes sense. I’m waiting for the glory.

So,
If you’re waiting and hungry,
If you’re lonely and unsure,
If you cannot find the answer,
Just hold on.
Fires rage, to grow, in the bellies of defeat.
It’s almost feasting time.

In words not mine:
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

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