“O hand, keep reaching for Us.
O feet, keep walking toward the Goal!
Do not run from the hardship We give you,
For wherever you find hardship,
you will also find the means to its end.”
– Rumi, Throw Down Your Staff
No view could profit me an answer. No searching without could imbue knowledge. I had to stop. I had to look within.
Sitting with your own raw, uncomfortable truth is, in a word, excruciating. Joy is to be found on the other side of this exercise, but the journey to her is not pleasant. As much as I wish freedom for all hearts, I sit weighted with the cost: it will take your all…and then render you a different person entirely. I weep for the change. I rejoice for the hope.
I wish these words came with dancing light and buoyant spirits, but that is not honest, that is not real. Today, my heart is sitting with her deep corners and greeting familiar weariness with an ache:
I have nothing left to give.
Here lies the beginning of a deeper journey; a corner turned into a trail. These paths are not pleasant…but they heal. Hold your darkness as a friend, a lover from within. Greet this uncomfortable strangeness with a welcoming hand, and spread a table of discovery, a sojourner’s feast. The horizon is almost in sight.